Pildappa Rock, Gawler Ranges, SA to Naracoorte, SA (includes another Traveller's Tip)

Monday 30 September - Pildappa Rock, near Gawler Ranges, to Quorn, Flinders Ranges

Pildappa Rock - home alone for our last night here

After another peaceful camp with no neighbours around our side of the rock, we packed up and headed east towards Port Augusta at the head of Spencer Gulf and on to the tiny and quaint country town of Quorn at the southern end of the Flinders Ranges. Dangerous winds were again forecast to hit the whole of  South Australia.  For most of the trip strong winds hit side-on to the car and van.  Temperatures were into the high thirties and rain clouds started rolling in from the north - not a good day weather wise.  

Arriving before the high winds and rain hit, we were able to set up camp in a pleasant and eco-friendly (read: don't use too much water or power) caravan park and watched as the storms came in with wind followed by rain.   Quorn has been featured in many old Australian movies such as Sunday Too Far Away and Gallipoli and has retained and is proud of its old town centre streets.  

Tuesday 1 October – Day 2 Quorn, Flinders Ranges

What a difference a day makes.   Yesterday, we left our base at 7.45 am with the temperature at 27 degrees and it quickly rose to over 30 degrees.   Last night was windy and stormy.  This morning we left our base at 7.45 am with the temperature at 11 degrees and it slowly increased to 16 degrees.  It was a bit windy and fine.

Today was a beautiful day for a beautiful walk – the 10.5 klm almost 4 hours hike up and around a bluff, known as The Dutchmans Stern.  

Walking through fields of purple wildflowers, Dutchman's Stern walk

Dutchman's Stern Summit - stunning views for morning tea

Firstly the walk traversed through fields of purple wildflowers which slowly opened out as we rose to views of expansive plains and rolling ranges.  The track was good with a comfortable gradient although a large tree had blown over and covered about 20 metres of the track at the 6.8 klm mark - a result of last night’s storm.  Having risen 340 metres from the trail head, we paused for morning tea at the summit and drank in the views before descending back to the car.  The track trail head is just 10 kilometres from Quorn along a scenic sealed road.  Our van park owner had told us that this is one of the best walks in the Flinders Ranges.

Tree across path Dutchman's Stern walk - courtesy of yesterday's strong winds

Wednesday 2 October – Quorn to Trezona Campground, Flinders Ranges NP

Proby's Grave

With school holidays in full swing and the looming long weekend ahead of us, we were conscious of how crowded Flinders Ranges NP campgrounds might be so we decided to head into the National Park today with the hope of getting a decent site in Trezona Campground.  We left Quorn just after 8am and drove the scenic route to Hawker stopping at Warren Gorge (pretty spot with a good campground), Proby’s Grave (grave of a 24 year old property owner from the 1850s who died while swimming his horse across a flooded river), Buckaringa

Water crossing on the drive from Quorn

Lookout (a lookout called Buckaringa), Simmonston Ruins (the “town that never was”) for morning tea, and Kanyaka Station Ruins (the Station that was, but then got ruined).  We then headed past Rawnsley Park Van Park and Wilpena Pound turnoffs to the gravel road leading through Flinders Ranges NP to our campground. 

Simmonston Ruins (the “town that never was”)

Kanyaka Homestead Ruins - talking to some original inhabitants

Once again a severe weather warning is out for almost all of South Australia for destructive winds.  Winds were up over 100kph and at times towing the caravan was a bit shaky.  We arrived in two pieces (car and caravan connected) after following the 4WD track for several kilometres.  Trezona Campground was less than a third full and we had numerous good sites to choose from.  Given the high winds we chose an open site away from the Snappy Gums that line the gravelly creek bed we are camped beside.  Snappy Gums are too dangerous to camp under as they will unilaterally decide to drop a perfectly good limb at any time.  The limbs can be well over a foot in diameter.

Trezona Campsite, Flinders Ranges National Park

Flinders Flies

Our friends the flies decided to camp here too and just love to visit us every time we step outside.  They have been in plague proportions since Pildappa Rocks and show no signs of going somewhere else for the school holidays.  We have just adapted our habits to avoid the flies.  Fly nets are mandatory when going outside; many people wear them so you don’t feel like a dork wearing one around.  Sitting outside under the awning isn't an option due to the high winds and flies.  This is where our caravan comes into its own; it’s big enough and comfortable enough to laze around in when around camp.  Neither of us has felt claustrophobic nor have we suffered cabin fever yet; something to think about for those of you contemplating the purchase of a setup to travel around Australia.

Thursday 3 October – Day 2 Trezona Campground, Flinders Ranges NP

We can confirm, the Flinders Ranges are magnificent, some would say awesome, with stunning scenery around every corner so we’ve decided to stay 4 nights in our NP bush camp.  We set off early today with a plan to drive the back scenic route continuing the Brachina Gorge geological track then onto the rougher and steeper Bunyeroo Road to Wilpena for today’s walk into Wilpena Pound.

Typical Flinders

Well we made it to Wilpena Pound National Park Headquarters okay but I could feel something going wrong in the front end of the car.  I said to Julie that I think the front tyre is going flat and when we pulled into the car park I showed Julie the tyre and said “it’s flat”.   This changed our plans somewhat given it took some time to change and we didn’t want to be left without a spare tyre.   So we drove back the way we came yesterday to Hawker (population 490) 60 klm south where the tyre was able to be plugged as a nail had pierced it.  We had lunch here where I was served the biggest steak sandwich of the trip so far.  We then drove back to camp stopping at most of the lookouts on the way.

The scenery is simply stunning and with the beautiful weather, the only downside remained the flies.  We now don’t think about getting out of the car without our fly nets over our hats.

We looked up to Rawnsley Bluff which can be seen clearly from Rawnsley Park Van Park and eco-villas for anyone wanting a more luxurious stay.   After a brief stop at Rawnsley Lookout, an interesting side visit was to the Cazneaux Tree, a Red River Gum named after a famous photographer who took a famous photo of this particular tree in the 1800s and called it the Endurance tree.  His photographic work has endured partly because of this iconic tree.

Cazneaux Tree - Flinders Ranges

Emma Stone's grave

Other lookouts offered further beautiful vistas with Stokes Hill Lookout providing the most panoramic 360 degree views of them all.

Emma Stone’s grave is a poignant reminder of the tough times in the 1860's as she died in the area aged 2 years old.

Back at camp, we had afternoon tea and reflected on a day that turned out brilliantly despite the annoying flat tyre.

So tomorrow it’s back to try to tackle Wilpena Pound.

Friday 4 October – Day 3 Trezona Campground, Flinders Ranges

After a lonely night being the only people in the campground, we made it to Wilpena this morning with the air in all four tyres.  On a beautiful day we beat the crowds from the nearby resort to walk the easy trail to the Hills Homestead then the relatively short climb to the two levels of Wangara Lookout.  

Wilpena Pound - from Upper Wangara Lookout

From the upper and lower lookouts we could easily see the complete natural amphitheater of Wilpena Pound and having read a bit about the local history on our way to it made for even more impressive viewing. 

He poked me in the eye!

Overall, a 7.8 klm walk in less than 3 hours meant we had time to explore another part of the Flinders Ranges this afternoon – The Great Wall of China. 

The Great Wall of China is located about 27 klm from camp and we recognised it as soon as we saw it looming on our right.  The viewing location provides beautiful views down over the rolling hills of the Flinders Ranges as well as the escarpment above capped by, what looks like, about 5-10 metres of cracked stone.  This cracking gives the appearance of large stone bricks just like The Great Wall.

Great Wall of China

Picking up additional water in Wilpena this morning I used my little invention of a submersible 12 volt water pump to top up the wash water tanks in the van.  It works a treat and is far better than a funnel and bucket to fill the tanks. 

It’s currently 2pm on a Friday before a long weekend in the middle of school holidays and we are still the only ones in the best bush camp in the National Park.  The two caravan parks at the southern end of Flinders Ranges NP are busy as is the National Park Headquarters, about 45 klm to the south. 

Saturday 5 October – Day 4 Trezona Campground, Flinders Ranges NP

Aroona Ruins - Aroona Valley - Flinders Ranges

Today was another beautiful day as we explored more of the Flinders Ranges NP and surrounds starting with a drive up the Aroona Valley to the Aroona homestead ruins and a lookout with wonderful views of Heysen Range – named after the famous painter, Hans Heysen.  

From here, we completed our drive of the Brachina Gorge via the Brachina Gorge Geological Trail which was stunning.   The drive took us along the creek bed through rugged cliffs either side. Numerous shallow water crossings made it interesting.  

We had intended to retrace our steps but after looking at our map we noticed another scenic drive further south along dirt road allowing us to do a large loop past Wilpena Pound back to camp.  So a last minute decision saw us heading south on bitumen road for a change then along the Moraluna Scenic Drive.   We've seen many emus all around the area and today was no exception - if only we can get a photo of an emu and a kangaroo facing each other in the one frame! 

Flocking Emus - Moralana Scenic Drive south of Flinders Ranges NP

We quickly  stopped in Wilpena for coffee and internet connectivity before heading home for the afternoon. 

We now have a couple of fellow campers however it remains remarkably quiet in our part of the National Park.  Just perfect really.

Tonight being our 4th night here and with all of the northern Flinders Ranges seen, we will head out of Flinders Ranges NP tomorrow to travel south to Wilmington.  Despite being a long weekend, we’ve been able to book into a caravan park close to where we want to be to see the southern part of the Flinders Ranges in Mt Remarkable NP.   We have to remember to turn the clocks ahead one hour tonight given daylight savings starts in the southern states at 2.00 am Sunday 6 October.  The loss of an hours sleep will mean Julie will be grumpy for days!!

Sunday 6 October – Trezona Campground, Flinders Range NP to Wilmington.

Stony Creek Bush Camp and Caravan Park - Wilmington

We drove the scenic route to continue to take in the expansive views of the Flinders Ranges and Mt Brown Conservation Park before checking into to the Stony Creek Bush Camp and Caravan Park in Wilmington.    This van park is so good. After checking in the owner stands out front of the shop and points to sites we might like. We can choose whatever we like, face whichever way we like and there are no rules other than to have regard to others camped here too.  We chose a powered site in a corner with nice views over a field of purple wildflowers to the distant ranges. The place was less than half full, had good rustic amenities and was only $20 a night with power and water - a bargain.

Monday 7 October – Day 2, Stony Creek Caravan Park, Wilmington

Alligator Gorge Lookout - Mt Remarkables NP

Without a good map, and even if we had one we usually leave it in the van by mistake, we headed off to circumnavigate Mount Remarkable NP.   

Our first stop was Alligator Gorge where we walked to a couple of lookouts then through Narrow Gorge and back to the Terrace.  Other than the 250 steps down and then back up, it was a relatively easy hour long walk along rocky creek beds and provided a perfect place for morning tea.  

Alligator Gorge - Narrow Gorge Walk - The Remarkables

Alligator Gorge - Narrow Gorge Walk - The Remarkables

From here, we tried to drive to the summit of Mt Remarkable however our Tom Tom sidetracked somewhere leading to who knows where so we backtracked and headed into the quaint historical town of Melrose for a pub lunch.  Melrose seems to be the push (trail) bike hub of the region. 

 

After Melrose, we headed along another gravel scenic drive into Mambray Creek campground and walked a pleasant track over a hill to stunning views of Spencer Gulf and Whyalla in the distance.   Back home we arrived at 3.15 pm after leaving home at 8.15 am so we felt satisfied with our solid 7 hours work.

Daveys Gully Hike- The Remarkables

Tuesday 8 October - Wilmington to Barossa Valley

By 6.00 pm yesterday we had decided our destination for today aiming for the southern tip of the Yorke Peninsula and Innes NP.   By 10.00 pm last night, we had decided not to head to the Yorke Peninsula given the distances involved and the highlights being only at the end so we decided to decide what we would do tomorrow in the morning.  By 8.00 am today we had decided to head to the Barossa Valley via the Clare Valley so we booked a caravan park at 8.30 am.

So off we headed back through now deserted Melrose, as the long weekend had long gone, for morning tea at Bluntstones Blacksmiths Shop.  

 Bluntstones Blacksmiths Shop

This shop could be turned into a functioning blacksmiths shop in a day or so.  All the bits and pieces are on the walls and floors with the cafe tables and chairs scattered around the dirt and loose brick paved floors.  

 Bluntstones Blacksmiths Shop

The coffee and food is excellent. Melrose makes for a great location to base yourself to explore the Remarkables.  There are walks and drives, good food outlets and a range of old-world accommodation.   Travelling towards Nurioopta we drove through miles and miles of ripening grain fields, rolling countryside, vineyards and wineries finally reaching our destination at 2.30 pm.   For the first time in a while, we drove through small towns every 10 to 20 klm or so and these even included service stations so we were spoiled for choice for a change.

Arriving at Barossa Valley Tourist Park at Nuriootpa, we settled in for the afternoon.  

Wednesday 9 October - Day 2 Nurioopta, Barossa Valley

After a quick visit to the Barossa Olives, we headed off to Maggie Beer's Farm Shop for morning tea and produce.  Just as we were ordering coffee, we ran into Ian and Barb who we'd met at 80 Mile Beach, WA many weeks ago.  So we caught up with them for morning tea and shared our respective caravanning journeys.   They've been on the road since January and have done a similar trip to us and also hail from the Gold Coast.   After Maggie Beers we had Jacob's wines for lunch at Jacobs Creek winery restaurant.

Thursday 10 October - Nurioopta to Port Elliot, Fleurieu Peninsula

Horseshoe Bay, Port Elliot - van park on point in distance.

After a leisurely 150 klm drive through the Barossa Valley and Adelaide Hills, where rest stops were non-existent, we travelled further south towards the bottom of the Fleurieu Peninsula to a beautiful stretch of coast and the pretty seaside village of Port Elliot.  Overdue for a cuppa and something to eat we stopped just short of our intended caravan park and had morning tea and then checked in to a grassy site at the Port Elliot Holiday Park on Horseshoe Bay. Stretching along this part of the coast are four small towns that have all but joined together. Goolwa, Middletown, Port Elliot and Victor Harbor form a continuous line of development along the headlands and sandy bays.  

Point Sturt, Lake Alexandrina - Murray River

Not having had enough of driving today, after lunch we drove through pretty Goolwa then on to the tiny village of Milang on Lake Alexandrina that the mighty Murray River fills before entering the ocean 2520 klm from its source in the Kosciuszko National Park.   We followed a dirt road along the foreshore to Point Sturt with views over the lake and associated wetlands.   The wetlands are renowned for waterbirds and there they were - birds in the water and lands that were wet. Lake Alexandrina is one of a number of lower lakes and forms the final resting place of the Murray River before it enters the ocean.   



Friday 11 October - Day 2 Port Elliot

First stop was Victor Harbor to walk out to and around Granite Island specifically to see the penguins.   The penguins must have seen us first because although we had a very pleasant, easy and picturesque walk for over an hour, the burrows appeared empty and only a few foot prints indicated there has been penguins in the area recently.  

Granite Island

After morning tea in a cafe overlooking Encounter Bay, we drove the Fleurieu Way stopping in at a couple of scenic spots at Waitpinga and Parsons Beaches.   From Parsons Beach we had a glimpse of Kangaroo Island in the distance.  That's somewhere for us to visit on another trip.   Encounter Bay is named because it was here, in 1802, that Matthew Flinders on the Investigator on behalf of England met up with the French navigator Nicolas Baudin both of whom were trying to be the first to circumnavigate Australia.   Apparently, they had quite a civil meeting despite the two countries having been at war - England and France that is.

Starting to head home, we decided to drive a bit further back through Goolwa across to Hindmarsh Island and Pullen Spit to see the Murray Mouth - where the unsalted waters of the Murray River reach the salt ocean of the Great Australian Bite.  We lunched at a lovely beach side cafe at Goolwa watching the surf while eating locally caught fish - Mulloway to be precise.
  

Murray River - the point the river enters the ocean

This afternoon we walked from the van park along the headlands heading towards Point Elliot. We hadn't realised what a beautiful coastline this was just outside our front door as we strolled the extensive boardwalk around Horseshoe Bay and further west watching the boogie boarders catching interesting surf breaks.

Saturday 12 October - Point Elliot to Robe, Limestone Coast

We had a longish (350 klm) drive on mostly bumpy highway today. By comparison with Western Australia and the Northern Territory, the roads of South Australia are awful.

Princess Highway surface

Lake Albert - morning tea view from van

Travelling the Princess Highway often required us to slow down to 80klm in a 110klm zone, just to avoid becoming seasick due to the constant bouncing caused by the poor road surface.  

Heading north to skirt the top of Lake Alexandrina, we then headed east and crossed the Murray River then south along the Coorong NP via Kingston SE to a seafront caravan park site at Robe.  The Coorong NP is described as 'a fecund lagoon landscape curving along the coast for 145 klm' with a complex series of soaks and salt pans.  Interesting mud.  

Kingston SE is home to the Big Lobster.   It was commissioned by a local business and intended to be housed inside a restaurant.   The maker misunderstood the measurements - he constructed in metres instead of feet - with the resultant anatomically correct monster on the main street.

Once settled in at Robe Sea.Vu Van Park, we set off for what we thought would be a short walk to stretch our legs.  The short walk ended up being 2 hours on what was a lovely walk in a lovely small town.   Firstly we met our now good friends, Matthew Flinders and Nicolas Baudin across from the historic and well preserved customs house museum.  

Matt and Nick (hat on) with Jeff the adventurer

Ob with Julie

From here we walked a path past some stunning homes and up along the headland to the historic Obelisk, on Cape Dombey. The Obelisk has been used since 1855 to guide sailors into port through what are often risky seas.  Given the South East coasts notoriety for shipwrecks, with 30 wrecks occurring in Guichen Bay, Robe in 1853, the Obelisk was also used to store rockets and life lines to be fired to distressed ships.  Its built on sandstone which is gradually being eroded so it's well off bounds.

The highlight for us however was seeing a couple of surfing seals. We seemed to be the only ones to see them and we were mesmerized as they rode the waves in quite close to the rocky shore then darted back out to try again.  We walked back through the centre of the town with its many historic buildings to sit outside our caravan overlooking the Southern Ocean enjoying the sunny early evening - one of the joys of daylight savings.

The next day - cold, wet and very windy

Surfin' seal

Sunday 13 October - Day 2 Robe

Again, what a difference a day makes.  

Sitting under awning enjoying the view - Robe

Today we had very strong winds, some rain, a maximum temperature of 17 degrees with the wind chill factor reducing that considerably once outside the car or van. Whereas we were sitting under our awning late yesterday in short sleeved tops, today we both had on 4 or 5 layers when we ventured out. Such extremes of temperature and conditions seems relatively normal for this part of Australia compared to home on the Gold Coast where the weather is much more predictable and consistent.

Robe headland walk

We drove to some of the same places as yesterday and were blown away, literally, by the wind. The surf was wild and strong.  After lunch in a local cafe, we settled in to watch Bathurst on TV. 

In summary, we really like Robe, population about 1,200, an historic fishing port that's obviously undergone a sea change as a holiday destination from both Adelaide and Melbourne.

Monday 14 October - Robe to Naracoorte, SA

This morning we set off for a pleasant hour and a half drive through farming country to a pleasant caravan park in the pretty small town of Naracoorte.   Our main reason for coming to this area is to visit the World Heritage Listed caves in Naracoorte National Park which we'll do tomorrow.  The cave are famous for collecting ancient mega-fauna that fell through limestone holes in the roof.  The holes eventually sealed up preserving the complete skeletons of ancient creatures up to 20 metre deep in places.  A number of sites have been sealed off awaiting improved technology to get the most out of them.  Already a 1000 years of work has been removed for analysis.  

However, out the front of the caves I came face to face with a distant relative - see if you can see the resemblance ... 

Tuesday 15 October - Day 2 Naracoorte

We headed to Naracoorte Caves - the South Australian World Heritage Fossil Mammal Site - this morning.   First stop was the self-guided Wet Cave which was much more extensive than we had realised and as we were the only ones there we took advantage of the opportunity to stroll around.   Following are a few photos....

Next we took the one hour guided tour of Victoria Fossil Cave.   The cave network is very extensive although the parts of the cave that are open are nothing special other that the fossil deposits complete with two fully reconstructed skeletons of ancient macropods that had been trapped, died and preserved in the limestone caves. 

A bone pit in the cave

Escaping skeletons outside

Stalactites, Stalagmites and straws

One of the famous skeletons

This will be our last night in South Australia as we head to Victoria tomorrow morning.

 _______________________________________________________________________

Camping Tip: 

Turning Blue – the Art of using the “Long Drop” toilet

(Julie the in-Van Censor says “For those not into toilet humour, stop reading now”)

Hello! – you kept reading…..

Travelling around Australia is fantastic until that “mysterious urge of nature” calls and there isn’t a “flushy” in sight.  Outside of towns and caravan parks the traveller’s nemesis is the Long Drop.  They come in all shapes and sizes, are unpredictable, have differing instructions on what to do with the toilet lid, but one thing they all have in common is the smell, and that is the reason you turn blue.

For those who have never had the Long Drop experience, a Long Drop is usually a tin shed with a bloody great hole underneath it capped by a concrete slab with a toilet pedestal adorning a hole in the concrete slab over the bloody great hole underneath it.  Often there is a chimney sticking high up above the tin shed.  This is designed for the flies to be able to see for 20 kilometres so they can easily navigate here.  

The tin shed is always located about 20 meters further on than the distance an average human can walk normally while biting back the “mysterious urge of nature” (MUoN).  This last 20 metres is usually covered on tippy toes with paces no more than a foot apart, knees together, back slightly arched and buttocks looking like they are holding a 20 cent coin between them.  The feet move in a blur as the 20 metres is usually covered in less than 2.5 seconds.

So what types of Long Drops are there?

Good Ones:  these are located beside a proper toilet block with flushies and are never used.

Bad Ones:  these are used irregularly, have a hole that reaches to the centre of the earth and are cleaned daily by wonderful camp hosts in National Parks.  There are no flies, snakes, spiders or large black bugs within a 20 metre radius.

Real Bad Ones:  these are well used and are home to every living scary bug in the area.  They have two sheets of toilet paper in the dispenser while the dispenser looks full and the chimney has worked a treat in calling all flies in the area.

Amityville Horror Ones:  these are real bad Real Bad Ones.  After achieving a PB 20 meter final dash, the door creaks and bangs close behind you, the room goes semi-dark; things scuttle around your feet, something hisses in the corner, you lift the lid and, just like in the Amityville Horror film, out buzz 1000 flies to land all over you.  The worst thing is you know exactly where have been walking for the last 2-3 hours.

Someone once said that “It’s better to have an empty house than a bad tenant”, but when it comes to Long Drops a bad tenant is good for free rent up to a week. 

The profile of your target Long Drop that sits lurking in the paddock opposite you when you go to sleep at night affects many things:

• ·      whether you eat anything at all for dinner
• ·      whether you drink anything at all for the whole day prior
• ·      whether you have coffee on the morning of the fateful trip
• ·     the quality of your sleep as you toss and turn all night worried about what is in store for all your senses tomorrow morning
• ·  how many times during the night you need to practice holding your breath and only breathing in a cupful of air after 4 minutes to last another 30 seconds if needed
• ·    The length of chanting required to subconsciously convince the lower part of your body that it can go at least another day with a bad tenant.

In summary, you will have a bad night’s sleep.  Ask any free diver the night before a deep dive and they will all say that a lack of sleep the night before a deep dive is not good for your survival – the same can be said for the Long Drop walk.

All too early dawn breaks (old joke) and you wake with a start after a fitful night’s sleep holding your breath for some reason and with a handwritten tenancy agreement on a roll of Sorbent in your hands agreeing to a free weeks rent.  Tired and wrung out you hear that familiar sound of summer, the distant thunder rumbling through the hills.  Only problem is that the skies are clear and you realise the nights chanting had no effect on the lower parts of your body.  The inevitable is in front of you: the walk to the little shed in the paddock opposite (play Amityville Horror movie soundtrack or the shower scene music from the movie Psycho).  Despite 10 hours of self-hypnosis, three gelatine tablets and a starvation diet, the Long Drop walk is inevitable (play the theme from Jaws 1, 2 and 3). 

Peering out the window the darkened tin shed is silhouetted against the morning sunrise.  There are no fresh footprints in the dew covered grass.  Lots of little footprints are visible however and they all disappear under the rusted door; what could there be lurking in that hellhole 20 metres too far?

The MUoN cannot be held back, the rumbling in the distance is me!  Ensuring very loose fitting pants are put on, spraying everything below the knees with Baygon and starting the hyperventilation technique my swim coach taught me when I was eight, I bound out of the caravan.  Casually at first with my hands in my pockets, to hold my pants up, I stroll towards the tin shed looking up in the trees displaying the look of a casual bird watcher, like I don’t have a care in the world.  Suddenly horror of all horrors, the van door further down the paddock opens and there is another “bird watcher” in baggy pants pretending to look up in the trees heading in the same direction.  The sense of burning lava above the Baygon line starts to bubble and you know that very shortly there will be no stopping the MUoN.

Throwing both the binoculars and the dirty covered (this has happened before) Simpson and Day: Field Guide to the Birds of Australia book to the ground, I immediately get up on tippy toes, put my knees together, place the 20 cent coin between my cheeks, arch the back slighty and make a dash for it.  Like Usain Bolt I blitz it, I win by 5 metres (play Rocky Movie music).  Or did I win…..

The door creaks closed behind me, I realise I’m the first in for the day.  I further realise in my race to the finish line I am out of breath.  Perspiration forms on my forehead and runs down my legs taking the Baygon with it.  Things slither on the floor below, I open the lid …. it’s Amityville Horror of all horrors … out come a 1000 dunny-bees (blowflies) singing “How I Love Ya, How I Love Ya, Dear old Mammy”.  I can’t scream I have to hold my breath ….  I peek in and it’s the worst possible scenario.  Looking like the mound built in the living room of the movie; “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”, the hole is full!

Dropping the baggy pants to the floor I sit hoping not to get a close encounter of the turd kind (sorry about that).  Not knowing what lurks below me brings further perspiration to my forehead.  Feeling like a piece of bait connected to a float on the surface for anything looking up at you from below, I find that the act of holding ones breath puts strain on the body in all the right places as well as providing a surreal near out of body experience as the oxygen levels in the screaming lungs diminishes thereby reducing the terror of the thought of something crawling over my foot or nibbling at my bait.

Turning bluer by the second I take in that all important additional cupful of air, the next 30 seconds helps me complete the task and, with dignity, I burst out of the little tin shed, breath in the purest of pure sweet air, pick up my book and binoculars from the dusty path and, on returning to the caravan I lock myself in for the rest of the day.  Julie has to go outside to tell all my friends that I’m too sick to come out to play today, maybe tomorrow.  The 1000 dunny-bees are disappointed and disappear into the tin shed calling out “See ya tomorrow Jeff!”

Thirsty I have a long cool drink of water and lie back down.  Is that the sound of distant thunder I can hear?

Bush camping anyone?